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The truth here is as obvious as it is deeply entertaining: Bad parenting abounds, baby, and what's more, I say our culture needs psycho parents and their preening, hyperplucked kids simply because the culture needs future Paris Hiltons and Lindsay Lohans and spoiled UCLA sorority girls with names like Dakota and Bree because, well, who else will we mock? And then there's the one about how some brain-dead super-rich moms in some upscale hoods in Philly are dragging their brutally primped 8-, 9-, 10-year-old daughters to the salon and getting their eyebrows plucked and their stray hairs yanked and their cuticles scraped and their skin peeled and making sure everything is frighteningly picture-perfect because the girls simply must be made flawless and creepy and preternaturally vacuous — you know, just like mom.

Mark Morford's latest book is ''.

to take girls from a digital platform that is restricted and censored to a print platform that is unrestricted and uncensored," said founder and photographer Steve Shaw.

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Ellie-Jean and Holly have even been nicknamed the 'Kardashians of surfing'.

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I must admit, it did a terrific job of doing exactly what ludicrous micro-trend pieces are supposed to do: zero in on a fringe phenomenon and make it seem like it's catching on like wildfire across the nation, and therefore you might want to make some brain space for this because who, pray who, will save the exceptionally well-groomed children? Of course, pre-pubescent bikini waxes are not really catching on.

The videos also show closets stacked with towels, presumably for Epstein's thrice-daily massages.